


Take me to church

by ParkAri16



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Blasphemy, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-01
Updated: 2016-10-01
Packaged: 2018-08-18 21:59:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8177578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ParkAri16/pseuds/ParkAri16
Summary: Sicheng isn't gay. He likes girls. He goes to church. He's a good student. So he isn't sure exactly why chain smoking, motorcycle riding bad boy Taeyong takes an interest in him.





	

It was unusually warm for a late February morning, and Sicheng felt uncomfortably hot in his smart sweater and long coat ensemble. He glanced at his watch for what must have been the fiftieth time, and was annoyed to see that barely two minutes had passed since he had last checked.

“Concentrate!” His mother hissed in his ear, elbowing him in the ribs. He rubbed them in pain, and turned to the front again.

It wasn’t that he disliked going to church every Sunday, it was just that recently the pastor had been running overtime, today included. His friends would kill him. Well, maybe not Jaehyun, he was too nice. But there was no telling with Minghao- he was unpredictable and gifted with a sharp tongue.

But Sicheng would understand if they got annoyed with him. Sunday for his friends was supposed to be for basketball and hanging out, not praying.  
He snuck another look at his watch. The sermon was already running twenty minutes overtime, and it would take ten minutes to get home and change clothes, and he was already fifteen minutes late to meet them.

Around ten minutes later, the sermon finally finished, and Sicheng ran to his parents’ car, pulling them along with him.

 

* * *

 "Sorry!" Sicheng's voice carried over to the grass field where his two friends lay, hands in front of their faces to block the bright morning sun. Minghao sat up and watched him jog over, red and sweaty.

He collapsed on the grass next to Jaehyun, resting his head on the other boy’s leg.

“Are you really sorry? This happens every week you know,” Minghao scowled. “How are we gonna make the basketball team next year if we don’t practice?”  
It was Jaehyun’s turn to sit up. He leaned over and hit Minghao gently with the back of his hand.

“C’mon Minghao, you know how his parents are. Besides, we all know you’re gonna make it this time even if you miss a few minutes of practice. You’re Xu Minghao!” He said with a grin.

Minghao scowled even more. “I couldn’t make it this year because I didn’t practice enough. At this rate, it’s just gonna be another repeat next year.”  
Sicheng ruffled the other boy’s hair.

“I’m sorry man, but I can’t skip church. I’ll try and get out earlier next week, okay? Now come on, don’t spend all day complaining, let’s shoot some hoops!”  
He jumped up and pulled Jaehyun with him, jogging to the basketball court.

“Hey wait up!”

 

* * *

 

 The boys had been playing for nearly 3 hours when Sicheng’s stomach made a noise of protest, startling all three of them.

“Wow dude that scared me… it sounded like a bear” Minghao teased. He glanced at his watch.

“Wanna go grab a bite to eat?”

Jaehyun was about to agree before he slapped his forehead. “I can’t, my mom’s cooking lunch for me.”

Minghao turned to Sicheng, who gave a sorry smile. “Same, my mom is pretty serious about us eating together on a Sunday. But we can go get some bubble tea? I’ve got an hour to kill before she calls.”

The trio headed towards their favourite bubble tea café, a short distance from their school. The café was small, but had a cozy, homely feel that felt inviting and welcoming. It was a popular place to hang out after school.

The bell chimed as they entered the small shop, and voice called out to them.

“Hey, Jaehyun!” Sicheng recognised the owner of the voice as Doyoung, a boy one year their senior at school. He knew Jaehyun was friends with the older boy as they were both on the school council.  
Sicheng didn’t really know much about Doyoung, but he seemed nice enough, always smiling at him if they passed each other in the school corridor, sometimes even stopping for small talk.

The only thing he disliked about the older boy was that he spoke too much for his own good, about everything and nothing at the same time.  
He was sitting by himself, with a book in one hand, and coffee in the other.

Jaehyun smiled shyly and walked over, sitting on the unoccupied chair in front of him.

“Eugh… he’s so obvious. I can’t believe he likes a nerd, that’s so weird,” Minghao tutted, pretending to throw up.

Sicheng could only hum in neither agreement nor disagreement. The thought that Jaehyun liked another guy made him feel weird. Sicheng and Jaehyun had known each other for as long as they could remember, and he would consider the other boy as his best friend.

But he can still remember the strange butterflies in his stomach when Jaehyun had told him in confidence that he was more interested in boys than he was his girlfriend.

Minghao tugged at his sleeve and led them to the counter. After ordering for themselves and Jaehyun, the two went to join Doyoung and Jaehyun to wait for their drinks.

“I mean I can’t believe that guy, seriously. He’s such an asshole.” Doyoung was in the middle of one of his boring rants. Sicheng glanced at Minghao, who caught his eye and rolled his own.

“Talking about yourself again?” he said with an innocent smile.

Jaehyun aimed a kick at Minghao from under the table, which missed completely, instead ending up in Sicheng’s groin. He let out a cry of pain, causing everyone at the table to look at him in confusion.

“And to think I paid for your drink,” he hissed at Jaehyun, who in turn gave a weak smile in apology.

Doyoung gave a look at Minghao, which presumably was supposed to signify his annoyance with the younger boy, but to Sicheng, he just looked like a sad rabbit.

“No, I’m talking about that dick, Taeyong Lee. He’s in the year above me, you must know him right? Rides a motorcycle, can’t miss him.”

Sicheng knew the guy.

He was in his final year of school, and was one of those guys you would see smoking during breaks and lunchtimes. He rode an obnoxiously loud motorcycle to school, and had bleached his hair to an off-white grey.

He was also one of those guys that Sicheng wouldn’t dare to look at in case Taeyong got the wrong idea and thought he was looking for a fight- he had seen the older boys knuckles, occasionally littered with cuts and bruises, no doubt from fighting. There were even rumours that he was in a gang.

“What about him?” Sicheng said with interest.

Doyoung gave a loud sigh.

“He joined the debating club for extra credit, probably because he’s failing the year. I mean he’s never in class right? Anyway, he keeps arguing with me and dismissing my opinions to piss me off. And whenever I try to say something, he interrupts me!”

Sicheng tried to look sympathetic, patting the older boy’s hand, but Minghao just scoffed.

“Um… excuse me, but isn’t that the point of the debate club? To debate? I think you’re just jealous that someone else is getting all the attention.”

“You don’t understand… I swear he’s out to get me,” Doyoung put his head down on the table. Jaehyun brushed his hands through his hair in reassurance, making Minghao wiggle his eyebrows at his friend. Jaehyun turned pink and quickly withdrew his hands into his lap.

A waitress came over to the boys and handed them their bubble tea, before Sicheng’s phone began to ring. He checked the caller id before sighing.

“Hi mom… yes… no I’m with my friends…yeah…yes and Minghao… ok I’m coming now, bye.” He shoved his phone into his pocket and stood up.

“Sorry guys, my mum said that our pastor is coming for lunch, I gotta run. See you tomorrow… Remember to do the Spanish homework, okay?” he directed this at Jaehyun, who looked away guiltily.

As he was leaving the café, he overheard Doyoung.

“Wait, his pastor? He’s a church boy?”

Sicheng felt his ears heat up in embarrassment. He knew what people said about him behind his back. A goody two shoes church boy.

“Yeah, so what? Respect other people’s beliefs man. And you go to debate club, so what does that make you?” Sicheng smiled as he heard Minghao defend him.

Even though he would always tease him for going to church, Sicheng could always depend on Minghao to stand up for him.

 

* * *

 

 His neighbour, Yuta, was sitting on his own porch playing on his phone as Sicheng approached his house. Yuta was two years older than him, and Sicheng had always thought that the other boy was cool. He was popular at their school and knew almost everyone, as well as being the captain of the school soccer team.

Sicheng waved a hand out at him, which Yuta returned, as well as a wide grin.

As he entered his house, he was greeted with the strong smell of his mom’s cooking. He walked into the dining room and saw his father already sitting down, talking with their pastor. He greeted both of them, before going into the kitchen to help his mom carry the food.

Lunch was fairly uneventful, with the conversation not straying away from the topic of Christianity. He was asked his opinion here and there, but otherwise they didn’t involve him much.

After dinner, his mom asked him to walk the pastor to his car. Sicheng saw her wink at the man, and he suddenly knew what was going to happen.

Whenever she felt uncomfortable talking to him about anything, she would get someone else to talk to him. He sighed, before opening the door and leading the way to the car.  
He heard voices from his neighbour’s house and looked towards the source of the noise.

Yuta was talking to someone with a shock of white hair. He shouldn’t really be surprised that Mr Popular knew Taeyong Lee.

Yuta looked up when Sicheng exited through the door, and waved again at him. Taeyong turned around to see who he was waving at and Sicheng met his eyes for a brief moment, before the older boy turned away and continued with his conversation.

As they reached the car, the pastor turned around to look at Sicheng.

“Now Sicheng, your mother has informed me you have this…friend. Jaehyun?”

Sicheng nodded slowly, unsure where the conversation was going.

“Well… she also told me that he’s… different. That he’s a queer.” Sicheng stiffened at the words, his ears burning hot.

“Well, I think that you should stay away from him. Boys like that… you know they will go to Hell right? You need to stay away from him or he could influence you to do… bad things. Like have impure thoughts about boys.” Sicheng suddenly felt like he was gonna throw up.

“You don’t have impure thoughts about boys, right?”

Sicheng had repressed a lot of thoughts in his life. Like thoughts of the way he had felt incredibly warm when he had seen Jaehyun kiss his first boyfriend, the way his heart wouldn’t stop fluttering when his friend Kun had hugged him at Christmas, the way he felt tingly when a handsome male customer at his part time job attempted to flirt with him.

He swallowed thickly.

“No, of course not.” His voice was barely a whisper.

The pastor smiled at him. “Good. Now, take my advice and stay away from that boy. Faggots like him are going to go to hell. In fact, it would be better if he died right now. Less people he can infect with his gay.”

Sicheng suddenly felt anger bubble up inside of him, thick and heavy.

“Sorry but that’s not for you to decide. Jaehyun is a human too, it doesn’t matter if he’s gay, straight or whatever. Jesus said to treat everyone equally, so I say that he doesn’t deserve to die any more than you do. I don’t care if he’s gay, he’s my friend!”

He tried to sound firm and angry, but even to himself, he could hear that he sounded unsure.

The pastor took a step back in shock, before pointing a finger in Sicheng’s face.  
“Look here boy, God doesn’t like the gays, and neither should you. You know that being gay is wrong and sinful, don’t you?!” He waited for an answer.

Sicheng tried to reply, but he felt that he couldn’t. His whole life, he had been told by his church that homosexuality was a sin. But something in the bottom of his stomach burned when he thought of pretty boys like Yuta, and he felt sick. He wondered if God was punishing him for looking at boys like that.

A loud roar of an engine startled the two of them. Yuta had gone back inside his house, and Taeyong was now straddling his motorcycle, looking at the two of them, his eyes dark and unreadable.

Sicheng wondered how long he had been listening.

“Move your car, old man. You’re blocking my way.” His voice was deep.

The pastor spluttered with indignation, but made towards the car door. He rolled his window down and leaned out.

“I’ll be seeing you next week at church, Sicheng. Don’t forget my words.”

As he watched him drive off, he briefly wondered if his mother would be informed of their conversation, and wondered how much trouble he would get in for defending his friend.  
“You go to church?” Taeyong was still in front of Yuta’s driveway.

“Do you actually believe in it? Jesus and all that?” He was smiling, but Sicheng knew when he was being mocked. He slowly nodded his head.

“Wow, so there are people still like that these days.”

Sicheng stood awkwardly, unsure if he needed to reply.  
The older boy switched his engine off and walked over, making Sicheng involuntarily take a step back. This seemed to amuse Taeyong, a sharp smile on his face, reminding Sicheng of a wolf stalking its prey.

Up close, it was clear that Taeyong was shorter than Sicheng, though his gaze was fierce, making him look far more powerful. He looked at the white haired boy’s knuckles wearily, and saw they were covered with plasters. Hopefully, Sicheng thought, he won’t want to fight with his hands in that condition.

“You didn’t answer his question, you know.” Taeyong’s voice bought his attention back to his face. Sicheng must have looked confused, because Taeyong continued.

“You didn’t answer whether you thought homosexuality was a sin. Do you? Think it’s wrong, I mean,” he looked expectantly at the younger boy.

He shifted uncomfortably at being under scrutiny.

“I don’t know… no? I guess not. I mean, not really? I’m not sure… If someone’s gay, they’re gay, that’s not a sin on its own.”

Taeyong’s expression, again, was unreadable. Sicheng watched him lick his bottom lip.

“It’s not a sin on its own? What do you mean? What would make it a sin?”  
Sicheng went pink at the question. Taeyong’s eyes went even darker in realisation.

“Do you mean…fucking?” He laughed, voice huskier than before, sending shivers down Sicheng’s spine.

“Sure, I’ll take that. It sure does feel sinful when I’m fucking a guy so hard he can’t walk the next day,” he continued, dark eyes staring into Sicheng’s own wide ones.

He felt his face flare up with warmth as images of Taeyong, sweaty and panting, flooded his mind.

He took another step back, making Taeyong tilt his head to the side.

“Don’t run away, pretty boy. I just wanna talk.”

Sicheng ignored the nickname and glanced towards his house. He wondered if his parents were watching. When he looked back around, Taeyong was even closer than before. He felt himself being looked up and down, but he refused to look at the older boy’s face, instead looking at a large vein jutting out of his neck. He swallowed, mouth dry.

“You stuck up for your friend. You must be a nice kid. We should hang out some time.” He was close enough for Sicheng to smell his cologne, musky and manly. There was also an underlying smell of cigarettes.

“I n-need to go,” Sicheng stuttered, which made Taeyong click his tongue and shake his head in mock disappointment.

He pulled out his phone and pushed it into Sicheng’s hands.

“Give me your number before you go,” he stared expectantly at the younger boy. He shifted awkwardly, hesitant, before beginning to type his number in.

“Sicheng!” a voice called before he had finished typing his number.

He felt a wave of relief as his mom was standing on their porch. He handed Taeyong back his phone with his uncompleted number typed in, apologising.

He followed his mom back inside the house, turning around just before he entered.  
Taeyong was still staring at him, his gaze black and burning. Sicheng flinched, all but slamming the door shut.

“Was that your friend?” his mother was frowning.

“Look at his hair! He must be such a troublemaker… I don’t want you to hang out with him.”

Sicheng felt inexplicably angry.

“Just like you don’t want me to hang out with Jaehyun?”

At least his mother had the decency to look embarrassed. She started to defend herself, before her son interrupted.  
“Don’t worry mom, that guy is not my friend and he never will be. I’m going to my room.” He said coldly, before running up the stairs.

He peeked out of his window, and thankfully the white haired boy and his motorcycle were gone.

 

* * *

 

 That night, as he lay restless in his bed, he was reminded of Taeyong’s words. He didn’t know that Taeyong was into guys. He tried to stop himself from imagining him naked, but it was no use.

He felt his dick harden as he imagined Taeyong fucking a guy, cock buried deep into a random guy’s ass. The other guy’s face suddenly changed into Sicheng’s own, and he palmed himself, grinding his hips into his bed, imagining Taeyong’s dick inside him.

He came, hard, into his hand, and he suddenly felt guilt wash over him. He wasn’t gay. He liked girls. He didn’t like guys, especially not guys like Taeyong.

He picked himself out of bed and went to wash himself in the bathroom. When he returned to his bed, he tried to picture himself with girls at their school. He had dated before, but most girls wanted more than what he could give. His last girlfriend had been the longest relationship he had been in, almost five months.

But Yerin broke it off when it was clear that he wouldn’t sleep with her. He had apologised hundred times, but he wasn’t going to have sex before marriage- it was sinful. Thinking about it now, Sicheng wondered if that was the real reason he couldn’t bring himself to fuck her.

He tried to picture her, long hair and smooth curves, but all he could think of was Taeyong’s eyes, darker than the night sky outside, burning holes into his skin.


End file.
